Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships Essay Example

Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships Essay There is no single person in this world who has never told a lie. No matter how big or small, direct or indirect, verbal or non-verbal; we all have told a lie. The problem with lying is most of the time your lies comes to light. Knapp and Vangelisiti state, â€Å"If acts of omission, exaggeration, vagueness, evasiveness, and substitution are all part of the act of lying, than everybody lies† (2006, p. 248). Whether you wore your sister’s dress, after she said no, only to have her come home with the dress in the dirty clothes and you tell her you did not wear it. Or you went out to eat with an ex-lover and told your partner you went with a friend, only for your partner to see that same friend at the gas station. It is all lying and deceiving. We live in a society where lying and â€Å"sugar-coating†, which is not fully telling the truth, has become more and more acceptable. In our personal relationships lying can have a detrimental effect; whether we accept it or not lying and deception affects our communication in our personal relationships as well. Deception violates both relational and conversational rules is often considered to be a negative violation of expectancies† (Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2007, p. 292). In our personal relationships, deception usually leads to feelings of distrust and betrayal. Deception leads to uncomfortableness whether you are being deceived or you’re the deceiver. I have lied in many of my personal relationships. Many times the lies were intentionally. Most of the time the lies were either t o hide something, trying to make myself look better, or just simply because I was ashamed of the truth. We will write a custom essay sample on Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now We will write a custom essay sample on Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer We will write a custom essay sample on Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships specifically for you FOR ONLY $16.38 $13.9/page Hire Writer My personal experiences with lying have been nothing but horror movies. Some people who are professional liars or deceptors might say I just do not know how to lie correctly. However, whether it’s lying correctly or incorrectly it is still a lie. A lot of the times lying is actually more work than telling the truth because you must remember you lies, â€Å"many liars have a hard time keeping their story straight† (Knapp, Vangelisiti, 2006, p. 251). Lying is nothing more than a technique, or a way to escape a current or past moment. In most personal relationships lying can severely and/or moderately affect your relationship. In fact, Knapp and Vangelisti conclude, â€Å"Lying appears as one of the most complicated relational interaction patterns† (2006, p. 247). This is mainly because the outcomes of a lie and/or being deceived by a love one or someone you care about. However, lying is not the only way partners can deceive each other, â€Å"deception includes all communication or omissions that serve to distort or omit the truth† (Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2007, p. 292). This application paper will discuss, define, contrast and explain lying and deception. This paper will also discuss how deception can affect your personal relationships and how it can affect your communication in personal relationships. But, â€Å"baby I had to lie or else we would not have stayed together. † Is there any appropriate time to justify a lie? Do you really care about me if you’re lying to me? â€Å"Many People decided whether to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, based on the possible outcome of that choice† (Knapp amp; Vangelisti, 2006, p. 47). Lying to maintain a relationship is a very selfish strategy to keep the relationship together. Knapp and Vangelisti state, â€Å"lying as a behavior is involved in maintain a close relationship† (2006, p. 248). However, this is primarily a short term solution. Although, many deceptors who use lying as a tool to keep a relationship together it is not. Many times lying after you have deceiv ed your partner, makes the situation worst in the long run; this is mainly because you have to tell another lie to keep the truth from coming out. Ultimately, no matter how much the truth hurts, the truth is always better than a lie. In personal relationships, honesty is an important trait. It is a trait that most people require when they seek to further a relationship. But, making the decision to tell the truth depends on what constitutes a relationship. So, if lying will temporarily maintain the relationship, than most people will lie. In personal relationships, especially romantic, if you know a person well enough, you know what they can handle and what they can’t, so if telling the truth will damage the relationship, most people will lie. In fact, â€Å"the best predicator of relationship termination as a result of a discovered lie, is the perceived importance of information lied about†. This statement best applies to many romantic couples who are committed to their relationship with each other. In a study comparing strangers, friends and romantic partners, it showed the most lying occurs in romantic relationships (p. 292). Buller and Burgoon (1994) defined deception as â€Å"intentionally managing verbal and/or nonverbal messages, so that a receiver will believe or understand something in a way that the sender knows is false† (as cited in Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2007, p. 93). Deception is never expected to happen in relationships. However, in many romantic relationships (as well as personal relationship) it happens with thought, until after. If relational communication â€Å"is about how communication affects the personal relationships we create, sustain, revise, and sometimes dismantle† (Wood , 2000, p. xix), than deception has to be a downfall in our relational communication when deception and lying occurs. There are five primary types of deception: lies, equivocations, concealments, exaggerations, and understatements. I have experience all forms of deception, but the two I have experience greatly are, concealment and Understatement. Guerrero, Anderson, and Afifi state, â€Å"Concealment or omission is yet another form of deception† (2007, p. 293). Leaving things out and not including relevant information to your partner is concealment. For example, my ex would go out to night clubs, but would leave out the fact that he was going to a strip club. He knew I would have a problem with it, so he was reluctant to inform me. â€Å"Understatement or minimization, on the other hand, involves downplaying aspects of the truth. I often experience this form of deception. A lot of times it is to make myself look better. Why is it so hard to confront a liar when you know they are lying? Someone once told me if you’re not a part of the solution, your apart of the problem. When being a part of the deception, you don’t always realize you are also a part of the problem. However, I believe your mind can play tricks on you and you might not always feel like you’re being deceived, even if it’s right in front of face. When someone is close to you, you expect them to tell the truth. However, the truth is not always told and you might have to search to detect a lie. When partners suspect they have been lied to or deceived they might take drastic measures to seek the truth. Knapp and Vangelisit state, â€Å"Changes in behavior or activity patters often trigger partner alertness if not suspicion† (2006, p. 250). However, many times suspicions and can lead to troubles. â€Å"Suspicion can create suspicion to the point where neither person trusts the other and the lie decteor have created the very thing he or she set out to destroy† (Knapp, Vangelisiti, 2006, p. 250). Your relationship can be easily destroyed by going on a hunt for the truth, because even if you have suspicions it does not always give you the right answer. Your mind could be playing tricks on you. â€Å"Detecting deception is difficult, because there are no completely reliable indicators of deception† (2007, p. 294). As a romantic partner, I have been deceived more times in my romantic relationships than in my other personal relationships. I believe in forgiveness, but the hard part is forgetting. I was in a relationship where I was deceived many times and forgave many times. Every time I was deceived I would trust less and less, but somehow believed the relationship would work and time would heal everything. My communication styles changed, I no longer could speak slowly or without anger. Even if it was about clothing on the floor I had to yell. My love styles changed, instead of the gentle person I was, I became very aggressive. I went from an Agape lover to a Mania lover. The lies and deception changed everything for me. I was not myself. I began to downplay all the positive aspects about the relationship and could only see the negative aspects (the lies and deceitfulness). We eventually broke up, mainly because of the lack of trust and also confusion of what we really wanted in each other. After we broke up, I attempted to find answers to why my partner deceive me in so many ways. Guerrero, Anderson and Afifi, talk about partner-focused motives, self focused motives, relationships-focused motives (p. 293). I think my ex had a mixture of all three motives. In conclusion, I would like to say lying and deception can lead to conflict and relationship break up. I know first hand on what it is like to be deceived. No one likes the feeling. We have discussed defined, contrast and explain lying and deception. References Guerrero L. , Anderson P. A. , amp; Afifi W. (2007). Close encounters: Communication in Relationships (2nd ed. ). Los Angeles; CA Sage Publications. Knapp, M. L amp; Vangelisti, A. L (2006). In Galvin, K. M. , amp; Cooper, P. J. (Eds. ) (2006). Making connections: Readings in relational communication (pp. 247-252) (4th ed. ). Los Angeles, CA: Roxbury. Wood, J. T. (2000). Relational communication: Continuity and change in personal relationships (2nd ed. ). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

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13 Quotes to Share with Your Dad This Fathers Day

13 Quotes to Share with Your Dad This Fathers Day Good fathers are difficult to find. If you have a gem of a father and you wish to make him feel special, here is your chance. Wish him a very happy fathers day with some brilliant fathers day quotes. If you have shied away from expressing your warm feelings to your father, dont lose this opportunity. These charming fathers day quotes can awaken and rebuild long-lost relationships. Erika Cosby   You know... fathers just have a way of putting everything together. Clarence Budington Kelland He didnt tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. Gabriel Garcia Marquez   A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. Lord Chesterfield As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. National Urban League Slogan   Dont make a baby if you cant be a father. Aldous Huxley   Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers. Helen Rowland   A mans desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. Austin OMalley   The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father. Confucius   The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. William Penn   He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his fathers wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his fathers care. Charles Wadworth   By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks hes wrong. Anonymous   Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys. Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities   Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.

Future of nursing from IOM report Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Future of nursing from IOM report - Essay Example Barrier removal will help in the optimization of the ability of nurses to lead change (â€Å"The Future of Nursing: Leading Change, Advancing Health - Institute of Medicine†, n.d.). In the report carried out, four important points were identified, and they helped in structuring a discussion for the sanctions. In the identified messages, they pointed out that the nurses should practice according to their education and training to the full extend. Besides this, they also mentioned that high levels of training and education should be attained by the nurses through an education system which is improved and that which provides an academic progression that is unified. They also mentioned that there should be formation of a full partnership by the nurses with the physicians together with other health professionals in the process of redesigning healthcare in America. Finally, they identified that there is requirement for improved information infrastructure and better collection of data, to ensure effective planning and workforce policy making (Nursing, 2011). Moreover, the report provides sanctions which gives suggestion actions at the national level, state level and local level. These sanctions are aimed at achieving the important points which were recognized in the report, that are necessary for the improvement of the future of nursing. Important sanctions were made for the transformation of education, leadership and practice. In the education transformation, there should be an increment in the percentage of nurses having a baccalaureate degree, by 2020 there should be double the number of nurses having doctoral degrees, and the nurses should engage in lifelong learning. In the transformation of practice, the scope of practice barriers should be removed. Leadership transformation sanctions included: the opportunities for collaborative improvement efforts to be led by nurses should be expanded and nurses should be prepared and enabled to lead

Recidivism Rates and Trends Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 3750 words

Recidivism Rates and Trends - Research Paper Example He/she is supposed to be convicted again. Another reason for re-imprisonment results from the violation of parole or supervision practices as set out in the policies. Recidivism rate can be reduced by a successful integration of inmates into the society after their release from prison. According to the president of John Jay College of Criminal Justice, Jeremy Travis, reintegration entails the connection of released prisoners and the community and the families they are returning to. According to the Second Chance Act of 2007, the released prisoners have the same right as the general population with regard to accessibility of social and economic resources and the exercise of their civil rights like voting and should not be victimized or discriminated. Support of the re-entering inmates by the broader community enhances their integration into the community smoothly. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, (2000), it is estimated that about 1600 state and federal prisoners are released into the community in a day. Though the prisoners anticipate this day when they get their freedom back, most of them are faced with immense challenges of living in liberty in the streets after moving out of prison. Challenges faced by re-entering prisoners are caused by lack of proper integration mechanisms of the prisoners back in the society especially for those who have spent a lot of years in prison. Such prisoners have been detached from the community and are not prepared for their life back in the society. Stigmatization of ex-convicts poses problems of getting employment, housing and rejection from families and relative. Such people are more likely to engage in reoffending in substance abuse and inappropriate behaviors which affect the healthy life of the ex-convict and lead to rearrests. The cycles of removal and return of person in prison increase the costs of maintaining and running the correctional institutions which burden the public through tax (Beck, 2000).

Water Crisis in Peru :: essays research papers

In December of 1915 a huge step for the rights of Peasants in Peru was taken. Juan Pevez was born in Ica, Peru and in 1915 he lead an uprising against the Picasso family who ran the that Pevez worked on. In Water!, an excerpt from Pevez’s autobiography, a dispute over rights to water is described and how the peasants overcame . Southern Peru does not see much rain during the year, so when it does come it is an extremely valued commodity. In December 1915 a very unusual thing happened. The water came much earlier that year and to the peasant's surprise it went unnoticed by the estate owners. In that time the estate owners unlawfully kept the water from the peasants until their own fields were irrigated. The water came that year in the middle of the night so the estate owners were clueless. Unaware that they had the same rights to the water as the estate owners, the farmers were reluctant to open up the Sluice gates that allowed the water to enter their own small canals to irrig ate their land. Juan Pevez, who was enrolled in the School of Agronomy informed the farmers that legally they had a right to the water. Trusting Pevez, they all opened their gates to irrigate their fields unbeknownst to the landowners. Soon, morning came and the â€Å"stolen† water was noticed and a brawl broke out between the serfs and the estate owners. After being broken up the peasants formed a delegation to make a plea to the Technical Commission to state their concern about the unfair distribution of water. The director of the commission, Ezequiel Gago, heard both sides argument. In December 1915 history was made when Gago ruled in favor of the Peasants. That was the first time in the history of the valley that a group of peasants won a case against a powerful landowner like Picasso.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The account of this event is very important for many reasons. First, as I stated before, this was an historical event for the peasant community in Peru as well as the rest of South America. The event that Juan Pevez lead was a landmark event in the history of not only peasants but everyone in South America. It was the beginning of a movement of sorts toward a freer nation. That event had a lasting effect. The delegation that was formed to protest the Water withholding grew and grew and now is still in effect today under the name of the Peruvian Peasant Federation.

Effective ways of teaching method Essay

The purpose of this study was to determine the effectiveness of various teaching methods used for teaching students at secondary level, i search about perceptions of best and effective teaching methods and the reason for that. I searched that most of the students rated lecture method as the best teaching method. Becuse of the teacher provides all knowledge related to topic, time saving, students attentively listen lecture and take notes. The group discussion was the second best method of teaching because of more participation of students, the learning is more effective, the students don’t have to rely on rote learning, and this method develops creativity among students. To make an effective learning methods first Remember that your students are supposed to be the beneficiaries of your communication. Don’t make too many assumptions about your students. â€Å" This Research indicates also that students are the most qualified sources to report on the extent to which the learning experience was productive, informative, satisfying, or worthwhile. While opinions on these matters are not direct measures of teacher’s effectiveness, they are legitimate indicators of student satisfaction, and there is substantial research linking student satisfaction to effective teaching. This research aim to tell you some methods on how the student may learned through effective learning strategies that the teacher may use. Teaching strategies refer to methods used to help students learn the desired course contents and be able to develop achievable goals in the future. Teaching strategies identify the different available learning methods to enable them to develop the right strategy to deal with the target group identified. Assessment of the learning capabilities of students provides a key pillar in development of a successful teaching strategy. BIBLIOGRAPHY A. BOOKS Danielson, Charlotte – Path ways to teaching series Merrill/Pearson,2010 – Education Frey, Nancy phD – the effective teacher’s guide M. E. S. ELIZABETH – methods of teaching english English language – 2004 B. INTERNET Clas. web. nthu. edu. tw/esfiles Effective teaching methods I. INTRODUCTION II. BODY OF CONTENT A. Why is it important ? B. Teaching Methods b1. Lecture Methods b2. Discussion Methods b3. Role Play b4. Case Study b5. Brain Storming b6. Assignment Methods IV. RECOMENDATION V. BIBLIOGRAPHY EFFECTIVE WAYS OF TEACHING METHODS AT SECONDARY LEVEL. II. Why is it important ? Teaching is extraordinarily important, complex, and demanding work,and a teacher’s workday consists of making hundreds of decisions that promote high-level student learning. The work is and should be daunting. Grounded and concise, this first edition text provides readers with theory-based practices that will illuminate the art and craft of teaching. The literature on teaching is crammed full of well researched ways that teachers can present content and skills that will enhance the opportunities for students to learn. It is equally filled with suggestions of what not to do in the classroom. However, there is no rule book on which teaching methods match up best to which skills and/or content that is being taught. Students often have little expertise in knowing if the method selected by an individual instructor was the best teaching method or just â€Å"a method† or simply the method with which the teacher was most comfortable. There is much debate within the higher education community on how teaching or teaching effectiveness may be defined that is why this kind of research is important for them to have an idea how they will be able to conduct an effective teaching methods for their student. III. TEACHING METHODS LECTURE METHOD Lecture Method: A lecture is a talk or verbal presentation given by a lecturer,trainer or speaker to an audience. With all the advancement of training systems and computer technology, lecture method is still a backbone widely used in teaching and training at higher level of education. This method is economical, can be used for a large number of students, material can be covered in a structured manner and the teacher has a great control of time and material. A study conducted by Benson, L. , Schroeder, P. , Lantz, C. , and Bird, M (n. d. ). provides evidence that students may place greater emphasis on lecture material than on textbooks. Lecturing is not simply a matter of standing in front of a class and reciting what you know. The classroom lecture is a special form of communication in which voice, gesture, movement, facial expression, and eye contact can either complement or detract from the content. Teaching Methods† stated strengths of lecture method that it presents factual material in direct, logical manner, contains experience which inspires, stimulates thinking to open discussion, and useful for large groups. Our findings also revealed that most of the students considered lecture as best method because according to opinion of students it creates new ideas, it is good for large class, develops creativity among students, teacher is experienced and has mastery on subject, explain all points and can answer all questions by students. Lecture gives the pupils training in listening and taking rapid notes. For Improving Lecture Methods. †¢ Lecture material should be stimulating and thought provoking. †¢ Information should be delivered dramatically by using example to make it memorable. †¢ The teacher needs to use questions throughout the lecture to involve students in the learning process and to check their comprehension. †¢ Reinforce learning by using visual supports like transparencies, flip charts, whiteboard/ black board etc. †¢ Teacher should take feedback of students to improve lecture meth †¢ DISCUSSION It is a free verbal exchange of ideas between group members or teacher and students. For effective discussion the students should have prior knowledge and information about the topic to be discussed. discussion as, pools ideas and experiences from group, an allows everyone to participate in an active process. Our study also revealed that the students rated group discussion (class discussion) as the second best method by giving reasons that; it has more participation of students, the learning is more effective, the students don’t have to rely on rote learning, every student give his/ her opinion, and this method develops creativity among students. For Improving Discussion Methods †¢ The teacher should spend sufficient time in preparing the process and steps of discussion. †¢ Different aspects of the topic and the parameters should be selected for the focused discussion. †¢ Sufficient time should be allotted to discuss all the issues. At the same time students should know the time limit to reach a conclusion. †¢ The teacher in the beginning should introduce the topic, the purpose of discussion, and the students participating in discussion. †¢ Before the start of discussion, background information about the topic should be provided. †¢ There is a need to include questions to provide direction. †¢ Relaxed environment should be created to foster the process of discussion †¢ Teacher after opening the discussion should play the role of a facilitator involving every one and at the end should summarize the discussion. †¢ Encourage students listen other’s point of view and then evaluate their own. †¢ Teacher should give value to all students’ opinions and try not to allow his/her own difference of opinion, prevent communication and debate. †¢ROLE PLAY occurs when participants take on differentiated roles in a simulation. These may be highly prescribed, including biographical details, and even personality, attitudes and beliefs; or loosely indicated by an outline of the function or task. These techniques have already demonstrated their applicability to a wide range of learners, subjects and levels. It is a memorable and enjoyable learning method. To gain maximum benefits from this method, the incidents selected for enactment should be as realistic as the situation allows. For Improving Role Play Method Before the role play, the teacher should brief participants about the roles they will play, give them time for preparation, confirm confidentiality of role play, and ask participants to behave naturally. †¢ Teacher should select ; brief observers about their roles. †¢ During the role play, the teacher must keep quiet, listen ; take notes, avoid cutting role play short, but give time warning if previously agreed. The teacher should be prepared for some action if participants dry up and can intervene as a last resort. †¢ After the role play, the teacher thanks participants, ask for feed back from lead participants, take comments from observers, ask other participants to comment, †¢ The teacher should use role names not those of participants, summarize, drawing out learning points, leaving the participants with positive comments and feelings. †¢CASE STUDY Primarily developed in business and law contexts, case method teaching can be productively used in liberal arts, engineering, and education. This method is basically used to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, as well as to present students with real-life situations. The students are presented with a record set of circumstances based on actual event or an imaginary situation and they are asked, -to diagnose particular problem only. -to diagnose problem ; provide solution. -to give reasons ; implications of action after providing both problem ; solution. It is a time consuming method and sometimes the case does not actually provide real experience. It could be in-conclusive, and insufficient information can lead to inappropriate results. At the end, the students want to know the right answer by the teacher. The role of the teacher in conducting the case study should be to, -read the case and determine the key problems faced by the decision maker, -determine the data required to analyze the problems and for a synthesis into solutions, -develop, analyze, and compare alternative solutions, and recommend a course of action. For Improving Case Study Methods †¢ Cases should be brief, well-written, reflect real issues, and open to a number of conflicting responses. †¢ Students should work in group to prepare a written report and/or a formal presentation of the case. †¢BRAINSTORMING It is a loosely structured form of discussion for generating ideas without participants embroiled in unproductive analysis. It is a very useful technique for problem solving, decision making, creative thinking and team building. It develops listening skills. For Improving Brainstorming Method Ground rules for running brainstorming Methods: †¢ There should be no criticism and the wild ideas should be encouraged and recorded without evaluation. †¢ Emphasis should be placed on quantity of ideas and not the quality. †¢ There is a need of equal participation of members. †¢ It can be unfocused so teacher should know how to control discussion and facilitate issues. †¢ It works well in small group. †¢ASSIGNMENT METHOD Written assignments help in organization of knowledge, assimilation of facts and better preparation of examinations. It emphasizes on individual pupil work and the method that helps both teaching and learning processes, For Improving Assignment Method †¢ Teacher should describe the parameters of the topic of assignment. †¢ Fully explain assignments so that students know how to best prepare. When the inevitable question, â€Å"Will we be tested on this? † arises, make sure your answer includes not only a â€Å"yes† or â€Å"no,† but a â€Å"because . . . †¢ Davis (1993) suggests that â€Å"Give assignments and exams that recognize students’ diverse backgrounds and special interests. For example, a faculty member teaching a course on medical and health training offered students a variety of topics for their term papers, including one on alternative healing belief systems. A faculty member in the social sciences gave students an assignment asking them to compare female-only, male-only, and male-female work groups. † IV. RECOMENDATION †¢PARENT To evaluate teaching effectiveness different methods can be used including peer review, self-evaluation, teaching portfolios, it can also be done in home in the youngest children , to prepare for schooling. †¢STUDENTS student achievement and students’ ratings of teaching methods used by their teachers. students provide anonymous feedback at the end of each course they complete, faculty and will be used to improve the teaching and learning in the course otherwise they are unlikely to take the rating process seriously †¢TEACHERS Teachers need to educate students in effective ways of giving precise feedback that addresses specific aspects of their learning experience. Teachers need to continually assure students throughout the semester that the ratings will be used for productive changes in teaching/ learning process and that there will be no chance of retribution to the students.